


Coffee

by rezi



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Character Study, Coffee, Episode: s08e01 Deep Breath, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 11:58:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2190954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rezi/pseuds/rezi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor's getting coffee. But coffee's such a human thing and the Doctor is so, so alien.</p><p>Very slight spoilers for Deep Breath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> By "very slight spoilers", I mean "spoiling the fact that the Doctor is tasked with getting coffee for Clara". 
> 
> Truly the most crushing revelation yet.
> 
> (As well as just general spoilers for the Twelfth Doctor's character, I guess. That's a thing in this.)

Humans. Shopping and money and coffee. How the hell does one get coffee?

The Doctor marches along the high street, trying to look fearsome and imposing to hide the fact that he fears this more than any Dalek. Daleks, he can understand and he can fight. Day-to-day human life... he's aware that he saves this on a regular basis, and he's sure they enjoy it, but him actually living one? The thought makes both his hearts tremble. It must be so _boring!_ No wonder they need coffee!

There! A shop with a picture of a cup of coffee on the outside. Unless humans have evolved a pictographic language of which he has no understanding and in which a cup of coffee represents total universal destruction (or something), that is a fairly good sign to notify the passerby that one will find coffee within. So within is exactly where he goes.

"Get me coffee!" he proclaims. People stare. He doesn't care.

There's a young man standing (almost cowering) behind a counter, looking at him like prey at a predator. "Um. What type of coffee? Sir?"

"Oh, complications!" No time for this! He may be a Lord of Time, but he won't stand for wasting it. "Just get me coffee!" Hesitates -- "No, no, two coffees. I think I need one as well, now."

Eyes wide like twin moons, the man nods and gets to work. Coffee comes out of the coffee machine. Steaming coffee in two coffee cups. Coffee, pushed his way!

There's a pause. The man stares at him. He stares at the man. Then the mouse of a human squeaks: "That'll be two pounds forty... please?"

What?

Oh no. He's not having any of that.

"Listen to me, young man! Young..." Oh, he has a name tag! That's handy, saves him the trouble of thinking up fitting nicknames. "Now you listen up, young Sanjay! I am the Doctor. I'm over 2000 years old. And I have saved the entire population of your planet far too many times to count. Daily, in fact, though days mean nothing to a time traveller. What might be the most important thing you do this day, perhaps in your entire life, is giving me this coffee. Because the next time I have the fate of the entire universe in my hands, and that could be mere minutes from now, you don't want me falling asleep in the middle of it. Coffee. Now."

The man flees through the door at the back. No, 'Sanjay' doesn't fit him at all. 'Mouse' works far better.

At least this leaves him free to take the coffee and go. Money? Who needs it?

He has coffee. And, in a TARDIS trip's time, he'll have Clara too. That's all he needs.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, my first Doctor Who fic on this website! Gotta love Doctor Who. Might be writing more Who fic, might not be. Depends on whether I get the inspiration.
> 
> Regardless, feel free to rave incessantly about how awesome the Twelfth Doctor is in the comments. I'll happily rave along with you because OH MAN ISN'T HE JUST THE BEST


End file.
